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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Girlie Q's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, November 3rd, 2001
    2:15 pm
    Gun Shots!
    The sound of gun shots off in the distance
    A waken the soul
    Calling for help
    What must a person do when there is a war going on right out there door?
    Is there anything that can be done?
    The sound of gun shots
    pull at me to stop the crazy people that
    think nothing of killing the beautiful wild deer.
    With each shot, I pray that those people,
    at lest will have some respect for the
    poor animal and not just toss the deer
    off, after they get there fame & glory.
    The sound of more painful gun shots...
    If they must kill these amazing animals,
    then they should at lest eat them or give them
    to someone that will. But what is the sense of killing?
    Not just left there to rot after they have
    taken the pictures & took off there antlers to mount on there walls for pride.
    The war is still going on right out my door.
    I can't go outside. I can't go for a walk in the woods,
    for fear of my own life.
    The sound of gun shots... ring in my ears.
    They are part of us.
    You can't kill them.
    We are all created as one.
    We all belong here.
    They still ring in my ears... gun shots, war on deer.
    When will there be peace?

    Nov. 3rd 2001
    11:19am

    Current Mood: infuriated
    Thursday, October 18th, 2001
    3:01 pm
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOTUS!

    Love ya girl! See ya tomorrow! : )

    Current Mood: excited
    Current Music: Back Back Back - Ani
    Monday, October 15th, 2001
    1:05 pm
    It's my day! : )
    Happy Birthday Me! : )
    I just wanted to let you all know that I'm home for now. Although, I really miss everyone. But I'll get to see some of them this weekend at Lotus's. I'm really sorry to all the ones that I didn't get to see or hang out with them as much as I was hoping on my trip. Or if you thought me to be very different or anti social. My trip & the last 3 months have been a big changing & growing time for me. So, you'll just have to live with it. I don't see why, I'm even going into all this for it's my life & it's what's happening to me. If you don't understand then that's your deal. I'm getting that feeling from some people lately that I've gone somewhere else. I don't know how to explain it. And I don't need to be sorry about anything. I do love you all! I mean ALL! I'm just on probably a totally different path then, must of you.
    Alrighty, my birthday lunch is ready, I must go eat it! I love you & thank you all for being supportive!
    Hugs & friary kisses!

    Current Mood: happy
    Tuesday, September 25th, 2001
    6:48 pm
    Home!
    I can't believe that I'm actually home. If I call this home. It's home to me now, since this is the only real place that feels that way, meaning a place where I could make a house feel good. But not by the people that I live with or around. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents to all ends. But they are my parents. It actually feels a little uncomfortable, to be here. But it's only the first day here. I flow in to Minneapolis last night, from SF. Then I spent the night at my Grandparent's house. Not the best place to stay right after you back from being with NBTSC'ers, you have to watch what you say & how you say it & what you do, be very careful when you answer the big question of..... "So what did you do at this camp, my dear?"(... from Grandma) Oh glory be. Well you know what you have to say, I'm sure you've all been there.

    Then the next morning I had to go to the dentist. I like my dentist, but this time wasn't that fun. I now have braces on the bottom part of my teeth. And just so you all know & can feel sorry for me, YES, they do hurt a fucking LOT!!!!!!!! I'm in pain! I could hardly eat my dinner of salad, bread & jam. I wish this pain of all this shit I have to go through with my teeth would be over.

    I'm really don't have much time to think about my trip or time at camp. I'm going on a family camping trip for the weekend on Friday. Can you imagine camping in NORTHERN Minnesota this time of year? Well, it not that warm, really. But it's lots of fun. You just have to get use to the cold.

    Then, I believe, I'm home again for only 2 days before I fly out to San Jose CA, for a health conference, that my dad is happily paying for, so I'll be back in the bay area next for about 10 days. I won't have any time to see my friend Micheal! *she sighs & looks off with a sad smile* I want to call him, but I'm not sure if I should. Since I won't be able to see him & he'll be gone by the time I get back. Oh what to do...? The pains of not being able to just do anything I want.

    Current Mood: anxious
    Current Music: I'm leaving on a jet plane - Jewel
    Sunday, September 23rd, 2001
    1:59 pm
    Ahh... my Lords & Ladies
    Life is a flying by. I'm here in Sam's beautiful little house, a top the bay, over looking the beauty of the Golden Gate. Ahhh!
    Some day I will have the money to live in a place like this & to enjoy! :) That will be the day, eh?

    I'm leaving tomorrow, on a plane. Yes, you heard right, a air plane. I was gonna be taking the train, but they upped the price on me, so I said fuck that. I'll fly. I guess that there isn't much between CA, and MN that they would want. So, I'm safe. I actually think now is a pretty good time to fly. Nice prices.

    I'm missing people from camp. And I can't believe that I'm in the bay area and not at Danielle's.

    Yesterday, I went to the Renaissance Fair, with Garett. Oh it was much fun. All the beautiful Lords & Ladies, their awesome clothing & dress. Oh my! I loved it. I brought myself a bodice. There so much fun. Yeah, you get to show some real skin, even if you don't have much. It's there! :) Ahhh, but I would love to work at one of those fairs, they are so much fun & full of life. I love that clothes, they way they talk, the damn good looking guys in their sexy out fits. : ) Some day I will work there! : ) A wish of my!

    Sam is kitting in the chair next to me. Such a sweetie! I love you Sam!

    I'll be flying in to Mpls tomorrow, then I go to the dentist the next day. : ( I'm getting tried of these braces, but I still don't know how much longer I'll be having them. I don't want the other surgery. I've already gone through so much. I would really love to be able to get these braces off & then move out or just travel for a long time, to Hawaii, first. But no I'm still at home. My parents rock my world. They really do. Not always am I happy with them, but of late I have been. It's good to know that I have parents that are supporting me in whatever I want to do. They love me! (a big one) I'm happy about that. They really are awesome. I just forget that at times, you know? when your around them 24/7 & they do get on my nerves.

    I'm tried of typing, even though I have more I could say... :)

    Current Mood: satisfied
    Current Music: i dunno what it is....
    Tuesday, August 21st, 2001
    8:00 pm
    going nuts
    well, not really. but sure feels like it. irina & jazz will be here in little while. i have just about packed everything, *hopefully* that i'll be needing for my month long trip. i'm leaving tomorrow, for camp. scary... camp seems to have just like jumped up on me. and i'm not sure i'm ready for it. and two sessions to top it off. so much has been going on in my life the last 3 weeks. forest has been home. and then we went to this really awesome camping trip. and then a totally kick ass wedding.i met some really amazing people there. along with this guy. : ) i'm now not sure if i want to leave. oh come on, yes you do. it's camp! hello! you know the best weeks of your year. ok ok..
    ahh, then my sweet brother has this friend of his come visit. oh my god. that woman is beaned amazing. she is totally awesome. i can't say how i feel about this woman. i'm just really happy to know her. and that forest met her. *big smile* i feel so full of light & love. isn't that an awesome thing? i say so!
    i miss danielle! i need to call you!
    i really have been felling a lot like i have to go back to hawaii. there is something pretty powerful about those islands. i feel that is where i must go. but i'm still here, having my teeth being worked on.
    irina call me, tell me where you two are. or should i call thee. fuck i just watch " A Mid Summer Night's Dream" , now i'm talking like them.
    well, thy have some more little things to get ready. so, thy off until thy see thou at camp!
    good night thy sweet fairies!

    Current Mood: restless
    Tuesday, August 14th, 2001
    12:12 pm
    That feeling...
    You know that feeling of just being held by someone that your attracted to, the feeling of being in their arms & not saying anything or really having to say anything, for it's all just as it feels good?

    Yeah, well I had that feeling this last weekend. And it was totally wonderful. I am really amazed by the way you can really get high on just about anything. It's awesome! The feeling of being loved by another person & knowing that you don't have to do anything, unless you want to.

    Ohhhh!

    *me is very happy!*

    I don't like saying bye to people. It hurts.

    Current Mood: refreshed
    Current Music: I'm leaving on jet plane - Jewel
    Thursday, August 9th, 2001
    7:08 pm
    I'm going to take a bath!
    Hey! We have this totally kick ass hot whrol pool bath tube & it's the best for taking long 2 hour baths in, with music or the phone to call some friend, or to read. ahhhhh.... it's thee best!!!!! I love it. It could fit about 2 people, nicely & could maybe have 3 or 4 in. sound like fun?? come on over! : )
    well, that's where I'm headed, so see ya'll later. ta ta.... : )

    Current Mood: relaxed
    Monday, July 30th, 2001
    9:43 am
    Today, is one of those days were you just KNOW it's gonna rain. The bugs are trying to get all the blood they can. It's so humid out that a person wouldn't need to take a shower...you wet enough. And then if your working outside, like mowing the grass, you work up even more of a sweat.
    This last weekend as been really wonderful actually, for me anyways. Went to the Art in the Park, with my mom. Even been to it, but it was nice & kinda fun. That night went dancing at a Blue's Fest outdoors. Which kicked ass. I danced all night. Man, that was great! I wish I could that more. But there's hardly ever anything around here go dancing to & live music to top it off. You've gotta remember I live in the middle of "no where country".
    Then, Sunday we went to the lake cabin to go water skiing. Oh it was so nice. The wind died down & there wasn't many boats out so it was great. I was able to actually do some of my fancy shit. Oh I love water skiing, so much. Next time I want to drop a ski & go on just one. The jumps are the best. I can lean way back on my ski's & do some nice turns, which makes great spray of water & looks so awesome. The less wind the better for water skiing. It's the tops!
    Forest is coming home this week! It's gonna be so great to have him home, for a few weeks.
    I need to call Danielle. I'm worried about her.
    I need to talk to Irina tonight about coming back from camp.
    I have to get my work done.
    I need to call Becca.
    And I need to get back to work. Got lots to do. And now it is raining. But the sun is trying to come out. Maybe there will be a rainbow! : )

    Current Mood: content
    Current Music: What If God Is One Of Us /Joan Osbourne
    9:39 am
    Imagine A Woman
    Imagine A Woman Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman A woman who honors her experience and tells her stories. Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life. Imagine A Woman who believes she is good A woman who trusts and respects herself Who listens to her needs and desires, and meets the with tenderness and grace Imagine A Woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present A woman who has walked through her past Who has healed into the present. Imagine A Woman who authors her own life A woman who exerts, initiates, and moves on her own behalf Who refuses to surrender except to her true self and her wisest voice. Imagine A Woman who names her own gods A woman who imagines the Divine in her image and likeness Who designs her own spirituality and allows it to inform her daily life Imagine A Woman in love with her own body A woman who believes her body is enough just as it is Who celebrates her body and its rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource Imagine A Woman who honors the face of the Goddess in her changing faces A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom Who refuses to use precious energy disguising the changes in her body and her life Imagine A Woman who values the women in her life A woman who sits in circles of women Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets Imagine yourself this woman!!!

    Current Mood: refreshed
    Current Music: Free Falling / Tom Petty
    Saturday, July 14th, 2001
    9:59 pm
    I want a nice flning... anybody interested?? LOL

    Current Mood: flirty
    9:57 pm
    I miss my Lotus & Danielle!
    I love ya!

    Current Mood: lonely
    9:46 pm
    Oh, what the hell, why not?
    Here I am at home.
    Working.... Trying to make that damn money that we all seem to need to be able to live.
    Doing some thing that i don't "really" want to be doing, just so I can make some fucking money.
    I feel as if some times I don't have any friends around here. I just wish i could go some night & go some where fun if I'm in the mood to party. It ever happens here though. I have one or two friends my age here. That's all.
    I need to make some friends here, but there all so different mind set then me & i don't really seem to hit it off that well.
    Fuck, being horny is not a good deal. I would have taken just about any guy that showed interest in me if that happened. And that would not be a good deal. Even if I was robbing the cradle. I'm horny, god damn it!

    Current Mood: horny
    Tuesday, June 19th, 2001
    2:04 pm
    Shit it's been so long!
    I haven't wrote in here forever. And I really don't want to write in here right now. But I wanted to say! And that I'm back home for a few days. My surgery went good... I guess. I mean this time, I did it it with out going under, with drugs. Only, novacaine. I was awake through the surgery. Oh my god. I can't believe that I actually did that. I could hear everything they did to me. And it was so weird. I'm glad that one is over. I don't have much pain! Good thing! I just have a real swore mouth. They puled out a baby tooth, that was still there & hooked a chan onto the tooth (& then onto the braces) above that, which was impacted.

    I'll be home for a few days, then I'm going back up to Duluth. I don't actually have a job there, yet. I have another inerview, though.

    Alright, I'm gonna go out side & get some sun!
    I love you all!

    Current Mood: relieved
    Thursday, May 31st, 2001
    3:41 pm
    It's been awhile & It's been awhile since I could call you....
    I just typed a really long update & now it's been deleted. FUCK! I'm pissed. I don't think I can write it all again, right now. I need to get the hell out of here. agrrr...Clam down Selena, it's not the end of the world.. no it;s not, but it fucking took me a hour to type that! You hear, what I'm saying,.... why the hell then did it's get deleted? HUH? I'm getting outta here. FUCK!

    Current Mood: angry
    Current Music: As is ~ ani
    Monday, May 21st, 2001
    6:14 pm
    I feel like shit. I went shopping with my friend Becca, had fun! But then came home feeling sick. I think I'm getting a cold. Oh I hate colds. I hardly ever get them. And now I'm leaving to fly on a plane, tomorrow. Just great! Send me some loving & healing thoughts!

    Current Mood: sick
    Sunday, May 20th, 2001
    7:31 pm
    Feeling weird!
    So, the wedding was good!

    All country & poka music, not my tast.

    Saw one of my x-boyfriends at the wedding(actaully, my first guy ever...). Which was really kinda weird. Still looking good. But he's not my type( I found that out). But it was kinda good to see him. He said that I was looking good! Whatever that means? : ) *L*

    I miss Lotus!

    The family get together was ok!

    I'm really tried.

    I took so many pictures at the wedding.

    I would like to just shake this really weird feeling off, that I have right now. And I can't really decide what the feeling is.

    I get to see Danielle in 2 days!!!!! I can't wait!

    Tomorrow, I get a hair cut, even though, I don't know what I'm gonna get it cut into. I want some thing a little more outstanding, weird, silly, punkish. Any ideas?

    I might be getting to together with my old friend Becca, tomorrow, who's home from college. I'd really like to see her. She's a great friend.

    What pisses me off is, how other adults seem to think that they can controll me & what I do. And how people ask, "So now what are you gonna be doing?" How should I know? I want to just do what I want, goddamnit!!!! People don't seem to get it. Whatever... they ask me.."Doesn't money matter to you?" No, not like you think it should. Some times I just wish I could stnad to someone & say how fucked up they are & tell them really how the hell I feel about that person. Oh, it so pisses me off.

    I hate it when older guys stare at me & make me feel like a sex machine! Don't they have anything better to do then drool at me? God, what fucked up people.

    I get to see my sweet brother in 2 days!

    I have so much packing to do before I leave.

    I think I'm gonna go watch a movie.

    I feel shitty.

    I miss my brother!

    I want to talk to Jasmine, but I just don't seem to fucking pick up the phone & call her. (kicks self in side) Same with Irina!

    I need to get sleep.

    I'm leaving now, even though I feel like don't talk to my friends eought! I'm sorry.

    Alrighty, I'm gone!~

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Friday, May 18th, 2001
    9:57 pm
    Well, I'm off.... to that wedding & family get together tomorrow. So, good bye & good night for now, my dear ones! : )

    Current Mood: groggy
    2:29 pm
    I have a question that I've been going through my head for a few days. I would like to know what everyone thinks of drugs. If they use them, or feel that they are a dumb & sick way to get away from their lives?
    Hard drugs or just pot?
    How do you feel when you are high?
    Why do you feel you should be using or not using them?
    What happened the first time you did get stoned?
    Was it cuz your friends were making you feel like shit if you didn't?
    Did you really want to do it?
    Would you do it again? If you've never used them before, do you feel you want to?
    Why?

    I would like people to be honest when they answer, as to what you feel or believe. I'm not judging you for what you do or don't do. I just feel that I want to know what other people think of them & their opinions of drugs. Don't get mad at me for asking. : )

    Current Mood: curious
    Current Music: Undertow ~Tool
    Thursday, May 17th, 2001
    11:04 pm
    I miss....
    *Danielle (so fucking much!)

    *Sammy

    *Jasmine

    *Irina

    *Forest

    *Emily

    Hugs to you all!
    I love you!!!!!!

    Current Mood: lonely
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